When your teenagers start having friends within your community, or have close classmates with the same gender or not, they will be leaving your house regularly. They will even go straight to other places instead of going home. The more you tell them to stay home, you more they will not follow you. They will also tend to make stories just to leave the house. Though this is quite normal for them, you must be a keen observer because they may have some problems you do not realize:
There is no one in the house he can talk to. Not that he is the only child, but because both parents are working and his siblings are not within his age bracket or your child is not close to your maids. Working parents should balance their time. They should know who they are working for, that is, their children.
Your house is a mess, disorganize and a lot of unnecessary things that are eyesore to your child. If this is so, you better start re-arranging your things and your child will even be happy to help you. You do not need to have a very beautiful house to do this.
His parents are always fighting, and sometimes he is included in the topic. No one would ever want to stay home when it feels like hell. Children are the most affected people when his parents are always quarreling. If you do not realize this, you will have a bigger problem than what you are fighting about.
Your child is the oldest child and he has to take care of his younger siblings. It does not mean he does not love his siblings; he might just want some space where he could breathe. With this, you may want to make him/her enjoy his responsibility as the eldest child, and of course everybody needs enough time for himself. Give him his right and he will do right.
Your child is not being welcome at home. You may be too strict with your child, or all you see is his mistakes and you do not appreciate his small achievements. While he is away from home, he is also finding someone who will understand and accept him as he is. You can correct his mistakes by not insulting him or hurting his feelings, and a simple tap on his shoulders for a passing subject will do.
Your child does not like the food. It can be breakfast, lunch or dinner. You are too busy to think what your child would want to eat when he is at home. It does not hurt if you ask your child what he wants for lunch or dinner, before leaving for school, and be sure that it tastes good. You may want to have a list of menu for the day so it would not be repeatedly and not boring to eat.
Some of his necessities are not at home. In doing his school assignments, he may need magazines, newspapers and reference books. It is best to have good books such as encyclopedia, almanac, or a computer at home. If you do not have one, work hard and save some money for it because it is worthy to have one.
Your child is envy with his rich friends, and since his friends are willing to share just to be with your child, your child will agree to go anywhere. Explain to your child that there can be things that he cannot have, but there are things that he has but his friends that do not have, like a happy family.
He may be hiding something from you. Your son maybe into illegal drugs, or has committed a crime, or your daughter is pregnant and he guy is nowhere to find. If this is the case, then investigate further and do not hurt your child. Do everything to help your child, not to add more burdens.
Your child is being abused inside your house; either physically or sexually, and the worst of it, by a very close member of the family. If you suspect this, talk to your child outside or far away from your house, just you and your child. Make your child feel that he/she can depend on you with the problem, and find the fastest ways to send the culprit to jail.
If you think there are still more, do your best just to make your child stay at home because as the saying goes; there is no place like home.
I am a Filipino engineer who recently found himself more comfortable in writing letters rather than numbers, and interacting with humans instead of machines. Now, my passion is to learn and share effective parenting tips.
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