During my corporate work life when my daughter was still a baby I met Hillary Clinton when she was making her first bid to become the senator from New York. As I walked down the hall with her I told her that, like her, I was the mother of an only child, a girl. Then I asked her what advice she could give me about raising a little girl. She told me to read her book \"It Takes a Village.\"
I wasn\'t sure then how that could help me, but a recent incident with my daughter brought back that moment with Hillary.
Last week my daughter got off the bus from school upset. She was complaining about what happened at recess that day (a fairly frequent occurrence). When I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, she said no.
I tried distracting her by reminding her that we were on our way to the hairdresser where she would get a haircut and some highlights in her hair. I thought the distraction worked, because she lost her sour mood and got excited about the trip to the hairdresser.
When we got there, she tried to do some homework, but she still seemed to be fretting over something. It could have been the adult conversation she was pretending not to be listening to, or just natural reluctance to do homework. I wasn\'t sure.
It was finally her turn to have her hair trimmed and as the cape was being put on the hairdresser casually asked her how her day was. She said it was the worst ever because of the incident at recess and then proceeded to describe what happened. The hairdresser just nodded her head, made acknowledging sounds and went about trimming my daughter\'s hair. At the end of my daughter\'s story, the hairdresser just said \"That sounds like it was very upsetting\" and my daughter said \"it was, but I feel better now.\"
That\'s when I understood Hillary Clinton\'s remark. Sometimes your child needs someone to talk to who isn\'t you! Sometimes your child just needs to vent about things that happened that day without getting parental advice or strategies to work with if it happens again. Sometimes they just need to talk. Maybe that\'s why so many of them are in some sort of therapy at a young age -- every time they tell us how they feel we give them solutions instead of just listening.
The point of Hillary\'s book is that our children can benefit from the whole community we are part of - teachers, relatives, friends and even, occasionally the hairdresser. It not only provides your child someone to talk to who isn\'t you, but can also help the child see the situation from another\'s perspective.
Do you have a good friend who can listen to your child once in awhile? Maybe even a hairdresser?
To learn \"The Simple Parenting Technique That Always Gets Results\" download my brand new report here: http://www.platinumparenting.com
Haynes Miller teaches all her secrets in \"Platinum Parenting,\" a seven week parenting makeover which transforms parenting stress into parenting joy. Platinum Parenting, because our children are our most precious resource.
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