Did you know that today in Ontario, Canada there are over 65,000 kinship caregivers who are mainly Grandparents? This is a fact. These statistics are rising to alarming amounts every year. Kinship caregivers are relatives who have chosen to take on the role of a parent to a child who is left without a parent for various reasons, which I shall explain later. Caregivers are usually Grandparents, aunts, uncles, sometimes brothers or sisters or other extended family members. Of the caregivers it is mainly the grandmother raising a grandchild. Many of these women have chosen to take on this extraordinary role because they have the childs best interest at heart and, therefore, do not want to have this child go into the foster care system connected to Childrens Aid Society either as a Ward or as an adoptee. You might be asking yourself how is this possible?
A biological child is a child of the grandparent. The bio, as we call them, have children. The bio may have a substance abuse problem that does not enable them to be responsible parents. Some bios have mental handicaps. Others are going or have gone through divorces. Some have even died. Others are incarcerated or have suffered traumas. All of these reasons, and many, many more leave children without homes, parents, love and nurturing. Usually Child Services is involved and they take the child or children into care. This is when the grandparents come into the picture. A grandmother will appeal to the Court to have her grandchild released in her care. Sometimes this is granted, sometimes not. When the child is allowed to live with his grandmother, there is safety, food, shelter and unconditional love. Most of all, this special child will thrive. The road for Grandma is not an easy one for as long as she is raising her grandchild.
Financially, it is very difficult. Many are living on limited incomes. Most have used all of their savings either for Court hearings, appeals, cost of living, clothing, and providing for their child. Some have even lost their homes. Our government does very little to help. If one lives in certain districts of Ontario, she may be eligible to receive a small payment of $231 each month for the child. Have you tried to live on this for a month? Not an easy task, but many are doing it every day. On the other hand, if a Foster care mother has one child placed in her home by Child Services, she receives $900 a month; plus, a clothing allowance, entertainment allowance and a furniture allowance. Is this fair? Certainly not. Many grandmothers are doing this alone. Many have health problems, no cars, and barely any outside support. She most likely has few friends because the ones she did have, no longer have anything in common with her now and do not want to be around children. Such is the life of a Grandmother today.
As a grandmother myself, I am raising my grand-daughter. I have had her since she was born 9 years ago. To this day, we have had no contact from her mother. The Court gave me full custody of her child because she was not involved as a parent. She abandoned her child. There are many others who are in the exact position as I am. But we would not change this for the world because we love our children and we want to see them become productive, healthy, happy citizens who we hope will have a normal life. Yes, we raised our children. And we choose to raise THEIR children. None of us do it for the glory, the recognition, or the praise. No! We do it because every child deserves to be loved unconditionally.
Cangrands Group is a support group for Kinship caregivers in Ontario. There is a website which enables them to chat, plan events and exchange ideas.
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