It may not have been long ago that today's parents were whooping it up at college and celebrating their freedom and new found self reliance. But the party is over now. These overprotective parents have children now and they're keeping their eyes on them. Wherever their children are, these parents are nearby.
Most parents certainly mean well. They want the best for their children. It's clear that parents should get involved with their children's lives as a positive mentor, teacher, and guide. As a society, we want parents to care about their children's feelings, successes, and goals. But sometimes, some Moms and Dads might do too much for their children. This can inhibit their children's ability to learn how to work and play independently.
A helicopter parent is one who hovers over their child and swoops in at any sign of discomfort or challenge. They are considered by most to be overprotective.
Parents can be overprotective for all different reasons. Here are a few:
1. Need for control: Moms and Dads can't control Bin Laden. They have no control over the pedophiles or the kidnappers they read about in the paper. They can, however, control how their children spend their time and of course, with whom.
2.Bigger, Better, Faster: Children who are learning skills are usually slower and less adept than their parents. Therefore, it's not surprising for parents to feel that "It will be faster, bigger, bolder, and just plain better if I take charge."
3. Fear the failure: These Moms and Dads can not stand by and watch their child feel inadequate, unprepared, or miserable in any way. It is too heartbreaking. They believe that it's their job to shield their child from these negative emotions.
4. Desire to live vicariously: These Moms and Dads spend their time doing a large amount of their child's work and looking for acceptance and approval for their own performance. They get personally invested in every aspect of every activity their child engages in and take it to heart when their child fails.
5. Entitlement: These parents are constantly checking to see how you are treating their child in comparison to others. They keep their eyes on everyone else's plate. They believe that their child should get more of your time, additional energy from your staff, and lots of free "extras." If it will help their child, they will ask for it.
6. Need to keep them young: Some Moms and Dads are saddened by the idea of their children maturing and needing them less. When children are dependent on their parents, parents can feel needed and wanted.
It takes a very patient, secure parent to allow their children to employ self reliance. Children who are self reliant are confident in their own skills and therefore, are more apt to go after their dreams.
Known as "The Character Queen," Dr. Robyn J.A. Silverman is a child development specialist, success coach, and parenting expert. Her tips-based style makes her a favorite among both parents and teachers. She's the creator of the Powerful Words Character Toolkit, a character education system used in children's after-school and day-care programs. For more information or to contact Dr. Robyn, please visit her Powerful Parenting Blog at http://www.DrRobynsBlog.com or her website at http://www.DrRobynSilverman.com
Simplified Search For The Perfect Sitter
Whether finally caving to your husband's persistent whining or reaching the realization on your own, you've decided it's time. Time to tweeze your bro...
Are You A Helicopter Parent?
A while back there was a lot of buzz around the term "Helicopter Parents". In case you're not familiar with the term what it basically means is crowdi...
Kids and Teens - Why Do Kids Lie?
You would not be surprised to learn that when kids lie it is a natural brain activity. In the movie South Pacific one of my favorite songs is You Hav...
Alcohol Abuse and Troubled Teens
Alcohol Abuse in troubled teens is increasing. Alcohol gives teenagers the power to express themselves without inhibitions. It allows them to self-med...
Facts About Financial Aid
Financial aid is money to pay for college from sources other than your savings or your family's contribution. It can come in many forms and is availab...
Respect Should Be Instilled In Children
I was reading an article by Denise Witmer about reasons why teens need fair and firm discipline. One of the reasons for it teaches our children to res...
Am I Wrong For Checking My Kids’ Text Messages?
I am often accused of being an overprotective mother. I am the mom who always demands to know where her kids are and who they're with. I am the one ...
Things That Make Children Hate Their Parents
If there are some things we do not want our children to do, there are also some things our children do not want us to do. This logic is not being real...
Teaching With Toy Chests
Teaching kids to keep their rooms tidy is made easy with a toy chest. The beautiful wooden chests come in attractive designs and colors. They will lov...
The Advantages Of Foster Child Adoption
There is a big difference between looking to be an adoptive family and being a foster family. The primary difference is that in adoption, the potentia...
Meeting Your Adoptive Child
Whenever the prospective adoptive parents make up their mind to find special thing for themselves, their goal is to meet their adoptive child. The mee...
Beware Online Predators - Understanding Why The Internet Is Dangerous
The Internet gives millions of people worldwide access to an unlimited wealth of information. Unfortunately, criminals and predators have equal access...
A Cinderella Story
Many Cinderella stories have been told around the world. Shirley Climo write the version from Korea with the beautiful illustrator Ruth Heller. Explor...
Children Nail Biting
As parents, we hate our children start biting their nails. It's like subconscious thing we do: we yell at them, or grab their hand, saying "no!", but...
Paying for College - Tips for the Adult College Bound
One of the first questions a potential college student, whether just out of high school or the seasoned adult, wonders is how to pay for college. This...
