It is very challenging to be parents. You will go through a lot of joy and sorrow in the process. The adorable children may sometimes be very demanding to test our boundaries. You may get emotionally frustrated at their behavior or character. The good news is that it is very normal to have this reaction.
We, as parents, at times find it overwhelming with our children's misbehavior. When such situation crops up, it is the best time to stop for a while and think about how to manage such situation. What I would normally do is that I'll do my prayer first and meditate on it thereafter. It takes me a while to see from the first person perspective as a mother to the third person perspective as an observer. It is very helpful for us to go through the process as a third person trying to observe and understand what is happening for the mother and child. It is less emotional intense as in a first person position.
I used the following questions to reflect when I encounter such a situation. You may find them useful as well.
1) What is happening?
2) Why I am so upset?
3) What is the need of my child? (getting attention, power and control and so on)
4) What is my expectation of my child?
5) What is my own need?
6) How can I calm down myself first?
7) Do I have support from my spouse, friends, relatives or other parents?
8) What is my belief and value of parenting?
9) Do I have any interests or hobbies?
After we pause and think, we will be able to plan for the best strategies and take action. Following that we take action and evaluate our goals and strategies of parenting whether we are moving towards our goals or away from my goals.
The important message here for parents is to take good care of ourselves physically, emotionally and mentally. Only with these we can take good care of our children. As parents, we should give ourselves space and time to do our reflection and reading books or information on parenting, personal and spiritual growth.
When we are stressed and frustrated with our work or other matters, it is very hard for us to refocus and center on the needs of our children. Only when we are nourished and our needs were met, we will then be better prepared to attend to the needs of our children.
Copyright (c) 2004-2007, Mak Wai Chong, All rights reserved.
Disclaimers: The author shares this article based on her personal and work experience and disclaims any responsibility for any liability, losses or damages and /or application of any of contents of this article.
Ms Mak Wai Chong, a mother of 3 children, is a freelance trainer and counselor. She has worked as a social worker and counselor for 17 years. Visit her website at WiseParents.net for prenatal training, parenting information and FREE newsletters.
Selfishness Can Be Age Appropriate In Toddlers And Young Children
We've all been there with young children or toddlers who greedily rip open presents and gifts and seem unappreciative afterward.But experts caution th...
First-Time Adoption
People going through a first-time adoption would get many questions and concerns. The adoption procedure is a susceptible process and requires severe ...
Children Bring Blessings
Such seriously fine things adults are. We work hard ... and forget to relax. We are mere players on the stage of life, but we approach every day as if...
How to Choose the Right Babysitter
As a new parent, leaving your precious, little bundle with a babysitter can be a scary thought. It isn't always feasible to leave the baby with a rela...
Meeting Your Adoptive Child
Whenever the prospective adoptive parents make up their mind to find special thing for themselves, their goal is to meet their adoptive child. The mee...
Ask Kids GOOD Questions
What's the secret to talking with teenagers?Start talking when they are children.Talking and listening to kids from a young age establishes the proces...
Parents And Youth Ministry
Love it or hate it the fact remains the same parents are inextricably linked with youth ministry. I have experienced the good, the bad and the ugly si...
Beware Online Predators - Understanding Why The Internet Is Dangerous
The Internet gives millions of people worldwide access to an unlimited wealth of information. Unfortunately, criminals and predators have equal access...
School Violence - How To Translate Reality From Computer Games In The Mind Of Your Pre-Teenager
The aftermath of the Columbine High School Tragedy of 1999 brought school violence onto the front page. Parents gathered across the nation to dialogue...
7 Steps To Child Obedience
Obedience is an essential part of child development. This is how you as parents teach your children. Through compliance your child will obtain self-c...
Strategies for Overweight Children - Put Their Parents in Jail
The number of overweight children is at an all time high and the numbers are increasing. Strategies to reverse this disturbing trend must be created a...
5 Ways to Stop Arguing With Your Teenager
Lately I received many inquiries from parents seeking advice on how to avoid getting into a heated argument with their teens. They worry about their t...
Effective Parents Need Two Qualities
There is a great deal conspiring against parents to raise healthy, well-adjusted children. hildhood is shrinking in a social sense, free play is not v...
Waiting Time For Adoption
Nobody likes to wait. It's a popular human response. When people sets their sights on something,especially something they like so much, they like see...
Overprotective Mommies and Daddies - The 6 Reasons Why Helicopter Parents Exist
It may not have been long ago that today's parents were whooping it up at college and celebrating their freedom and new found self reliance. But the ...
