It is important for parents to understand bullying behavior and to discuss this topic with your child. Children often may know that they are uncomfortable with a person or situation, yet be embarrassed to bring it to an adult's attention, or even feel as if they should be able to handle every situation themselves.
Who exactly is a bully? There is no physical description. A bully can be any age, tall, short, fat, thin, male or female. A bully is anyone who intentionally makes another person feel afraid, hurt or uncomfortable over and over again. The person who is the target of the bully is known as the victim.
Bullying behavior commonly takes place in the school setting, and can take place anywhere in school. This includes places such as the hallway, bathroom, lunchroom, gym, classroom and specials such as music or art, on the school bus, outside at recess or outside the school building before or after school starts.
There are numerous ways that someone can bully another person. One way is physically, in other words, using their body to hurt someone else. Examples of physical bullying are hitting, kicking, pushing, and using a weapon. Using words to hurt someone is another type of bullying. Examples include name calling, teasing, cursing, and insults. Other types of bullying can be less directly involved with an individual, but just as hurtful. These involve stealing from someone, ignoring, spreading lies, and consistently leaving someone out.
If your child is being bullied, advise him/her that it is best to at first ignore. Tell your child that it is difficult to do, but they should try to not listen or at least act like he/she does not care what is going on. Tell your child to keep a calm voice if he/she needs to speak or reply. They should smile as if they are not bothered. Sometimes being funny can diffuse a situation and take the bully off guard. Further advise your child to walk away, or more importantly, run if he/she is in physical danger.
Once your child is out of the situation, they must tell an adult. It can be anyone they feel comfortable talking to, and who will listen and act. If one adult doesn't listen or act ,they must not feel helpless, but rather, tell someone else. Advise them to bring a friend with them if they are uncomfortable speaking to the adult by themselves. Your child can write a letter to the adult if they have difficulty speaking to someone about the bullying, but remember they MUST tell someone!
Carol Bottstein is a school psychologist with 25 years of experience in special education. Visit Long Island Educational Corner at http://www.carolbottstein.com for interesting and informative articles regarding parenting, mental health, education, self-improvement and other relevant topics.
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