Recently, a well-known, national, conservative, radio talk show host had a discussion about parenting coaches. (A parenting coach is a consultant who is hired to discuss and advise parents about how to deal with the many challenges that parents face as they guide their children through childhood.)
Far from being supportive, this radio talk show host suggested that parents were resorting to using parenting coaches because they did not want to spend enough time with their children. She hypothesized that parents wanted a parenting shortcut so that their children could take a back seat to their careers. Back in the day, she stated, parents just raised their children and their children listened and developed into great people. It was clear from her disparaging comments and her insensitive insights that she is not a mother facing todays challenges.
This commentator, although not particularly sensitive to the feelings of parents, did make one interesting point. Parenting coaches and other supports are a new phenomenon that past generations of parents did not have as a resource.
Why do parents today feel the need for outside assistance?
In an informal survey completed by parents, mothers and fathers expressed great concern about making parenting mistakes.
- If I dont parent correctly I will cause irreparable damage to my children.
- If I make the wrong parenting decisions my child will end up on drugs.
- If I lose my temper my child will never forget it, and hate me forever.
- If I discipline too harshly I will damage my child psychologically.
Today, with the huge amount of information available to parents, even discussing pediatric health concerns before conception, parents feel an overwhelming responsibility that parents of yesteryear were not burdened with. With access to the internet parents are bombarded with data. From ADHD to potty training, parents are overly informed about all of the issues of parenting. Any small symptom that a child exhibits can be dissected and attributed to a terrible malady.
The massive amount of information that parents take in, much of it contradictory, undermines parent confidence and causes them to second guess their decisions. Parents can feel an undo amount of stress and anxiety resulting from the vast amount of research they now do on parenting issues. Far from looking for shortcuts as the talk show host surmised, parents are hyper-vigilant about getting the parenting job done perfectly and raising happy and successful children. Every decision made is a crucial one that will have a lasting effect on their child.
One mother wrote about how frightened she was for her unborn baby when the ultrasound showed a low normal reading of her amniotic fluid. Another mother-to-be was told that one of her babys kidneys was (although within normal range) slightly larger than the other. Both babies were born completely normal but their mothers started their parenting journeys on-alert. Before their babies were even born, these poor moms spent countless hours on the internet researching all of the potential problems that their babies could face.
Parents choose to use parenting tools, parenting aids, parenting coaches, family counselors and parenting books because they feel enormously committed to and responsible for raising the next generation of adults and fearful that they could make a terrible mistake and hurt the precious life to whom they are responsible.
With the advent of the informational-technology age, parents have been barraged with parenting content. Many well informed parents, parent self-consciously and without confidence, worried that any slip-up will do irrevocable damage to their kids. One mother in the survey, apologized repeatedly to her child after yelling at him to stop hitting the dog with a toy, she wrote that she was very worried that she had broken her sons trust in her.
Do parents have cause for alarm? If a kind and caring parent makes some parenting missteps will the child suffer irreparable harm?
One father answers with insight, As parents we have to have faith that our child rearing instincts are right on. Will we make parenting mistakes? Of course, but our children are resilient and will be fine.
Contrary to what the radio personality believes, it is not a bad thing for parents to use the resources that are available to them. From behavioral products and parenting aids, to parenting coaches and parenting websites, there are terrific resources available to support parents in their goal to raise great people.
Parents should not let the large amounts of parenting information intimidate them. While some information can be helpful and empowering, too much information can be scary and can take the joy out of parenting.
Resources like parenting coaches should be used as a support not a crutch that usurps their own ideas and parenting styles. Similarly parents should remember that these resources are aids and should not be used to replace time parenting. Parents should listen to their internal voice and be confident that the decisions that they make will most likely be good ones and that parenting with love and intellect will help them in their quest to raise kind and caring adults.
Elena Neitlich is the co-founder and CEO of Moms on Edge, LLC. Moms on Edge, LLC designs, manufactures and sells children\'s behavioral products. Moms on Edge mission is to create products that promote peace, quiet and good behavior. Elena is the proud mother of Noah (5) and Seth (3). She is committed to raising really great people. For more information go to http://www.momsonedge.com
Parenting Tips - Parenting Advice from Hillary Clinton
During my corporate work life when my daughter was still a baby I met Hillary Clinton when she was making her first bid to become the senator from New...
Parenting Forum - Tips On Joing A Parenting Forum
Joining a parenting forum today is a highly recommended option for parents looking for a sounding board for questions and answers on the different are...
10 Steps To Successful Parenting
Children are the leaders of the future. So how do you give your child a real chance to shine, with positive parenting techniques and paying attention ...
Parenting Advice That Works With Teenagers
Teenage parenting could be one of the hardest things as parents you may have to face in your lifetime. Nothing is easy about it and giving young paren...
A Message for Daddy - Change Your Parenting Life!
Believe this : A recent University study found that the average father in America spends less than sixty seconds per day in conversations with his chi...
Parenting Tips - Helping Kids Deal With Divorce
Unfortunately, divorce is a fact of modern life, and many couples seek parenting tips to help their children deal with the prospect of splitting up th...
How to Help Your Child with Excessive Blushing
Being a kid these days is hard. Kids have pressure from all sides. Parents have expectations for what their kids are responsible for at home. They hav...
Going it Alone
Raising kids today is a tough job, and it can be all that much harder if you don't have someone to help you.Single parenting is pretty common these da...
Three Basic Parenting Styles
Parenting is something that usually comes naturally to people. There are no hard fast how to manuals or rules to parenting. People generally just le...
Parenting Advice - What Is Your Job As A Parent?
Parenting is a tough job. All too often we do not come to appreciate just how rough our parents had it until we become parents ourselves. While parent...
Developing Self Confidence in Children - Can Parents Build it?
As a child grows in awareness, his developing self confidence reflects his positive interactions with his environment and his growing trust in both ot...
Parenting Foundations - What Great Parents Do
There is no secret to raising great kids. There are many. It takes the consistent application of the parenting basics practised every day to raise wel...
Four Basic Parenting Styles
There are two dimensions to parenting which make up the four basic parenting styles: give and take, to put it simply.'Give' entails being supportive o...
Coming Soon - More Radio Listening Choices, Thanks to HD2 Channels
While HD radio increases the quality of AM and FM broadcasts dramatically, this may not be the main reason to buy an HD radio.You may buy it because o...
Better Communication With Teenagers For Better Parenting
I am sure that most parents will feel the gap that occurs between them and their children especially teenagers while communicating with them. Here are...
