Where does confidence come from? Is it something your teenager is born with? Or is it learned?
As their parent, what can you do to improve it? Growing up is weird. Nothing is consistent; from the dynamics in your family to the relationships with your friends to your movement within school. The last thing that you would want for your child is to lack confidence. Having confidence is often the difference between having a great experience or having a terrible one.
What can you do to help your kid? In my experience there is a hierarchy of confidence development. Each teen needs to have each level met before they feel comfort to express themselves outwardly with strength.
Confidence is a two part formula:
Inner Confidence: Made up of self beliefs
Outer Confidence: Comings from the ability to express our inner-self feelings outward.
I have a friend who is in law school. She has a vivid memory from middle school. She was sitting in class studying when three of the "cool girls" were making fun of her for studying. She remembers this experience because it was the moment she made the decision internally to SHOW THE WORLD WHAT SHE WAS MADE OF! To this day, she still works very hard to prove herself.
Yet, many teenagers never have this resolution! They go through school and then in life without ever learning HOW TO develop confidence. The reason for this is YOU!
Parenting your kids is not a choice. The minute that child comes into the world, they will model everything from you. From diet, from posture, to beliefs, to the way they operate their lives.
Do you have a friend that has poor eating habits? Do you notice that all of their children having the similar problem. This is the same with confidence.
Confidence is a feeling. So how do we produce the "feeling" of confidence? It starts with teaching beliefs then actions.
What is your mantra? What words do you speak to yourself consistently? Do you tell yourself to feel good or bad? Do you support yourself? What I have found is most people feel about a handful of emotions every week. To prove this I want you to do a self test:
Write down on a piece of paper every emotional feel you have had in the past week. Cancel out the positive emotional feels with the negative. Count how many positive or negative emotions remain. The result is your overall belief in yourself. Guess what? You will find that your child has the SAME BELIEFS!
Everything in life starts with you! It starting with you learning more, developing yourself, and in your self discovery you improve those around you.
Action Steps:
1. Walk 30 minutes a day.
2. Buy the biggest bottle of water at the gas station. Drink the entire bottle twice!
3. Breath deeply 10 times in a row twice a day.
These three simple steps will give you more energy, focus, and improve the quality of your life in right away.
As you learn new habits you teach your teen those habits as well. You do activities together that are fun and involve personal development. When you learn that you have unlimited potential, you will also reprogram the psychology of those people you influence.
To guarantee their confidence, you have to insure the policy. You are in charge of their self development. Are you going to honor this guarantee?
TIP: You will find that your friends can be your biggest enemy. When you change the people around do not know how to deal with it. Many people do not ever change. You must find a community of people to support you. You can start with your immediate family.
John T.S. Murphy- went from being the kid that most parent wish they NEVER had. To a success story. Graduating College, Owner of Multiple Business, and a Constant Addict for Self Improvement. He has a new book coming out March 15, 2008 titled "GIVE UP NOW, YOUR A FAILURE!" The book is a how-to guide for parents dealing with their son Learning Disability.
Find out more at the url below:
http://www.learningdisabilitydynamics.com
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