How can I help build my child\'s confidence?
As your children go through school, they are going to need confidence to make friends and try new things. It is your job to not only start building this confidence before they enter school but to continue reinforcing it throughout their schooling. This starts with sincerely believing in your children and letting them know that you believe in them. By telling them they can do anything they want to in life, you are already opening a whole world of opportunity to them.
It is important to praise your children when trying to build their confidence. Sometimes a kind word from a parent about what a great job they did can be just the thing they need to boost their confidence and encourage them to keep going. Even if your child messes up something they were trying to do, be sure to point out something they did well when giving constructive criticism. This way they can be confident enough in their abilities to take the suggestion and improve their skill.
Another way to show your children that you value them is to really listen when they talk to you. Repeat things back to them and make sure you\'ve understood them correctly. Respect their interests, even if they seem trivial to you. Asking them questions about things they like shows them that you care about what they have to say. Encourage them to talk about their feelings so that you can help them when something is wrong. This way when they are older and bigger issues are at stake they won\'t feel embarrassed coming to you for help since it is already an established habit. Don\'t discount their fears or concerns; they may seem unimportant to an adult, but they are real to your children. Taking time to talk things over not only builds their confidence but also builds a better communication between you and your children.
When your children misbehave, you want to be careful not to criticize them but to criticize their behavior. Let them know that their action was wrong but that there\'s nothing wrong with them. Discipline shouldn\'t be about punishment, but about correcting the behavior. By letting your children know that good people sometimes do bad things, it gives them the confidence they need to correct their behavior.
Encourage your children to be independent by trying new things or introducing themselves to new friends. Succeeding at new endeavors will give them a huge burst of confidence. Even if they don\'t succeed, help them learn from their mistakes so that they can try harder next time. Teach them that just because something doesn\'t work one time doesn\'t mean you can\'t try again. Trying is the only way they\'ll be able to get it right next time. It\'s okay to laugh when your children mess up as long as you are laughing with them and not at them. Teaching them to laugh at themselves will help them cope with disappointments in life and give them an optimistic view of the world.
Solomon Brenner has been teaching martial arts to children and adults for\r ten years, and holds a 6th degree black belt in Kenpo Karate. During that\r time he has held countless seminars on subjects such as self-esteem in\r children and teens, behavior and discipline, praise vs. punishment, career\r motivation, goal setting, parenting, and self defense. He has spoken to\r elementary schools, women\'s groups, scouting organizations, civic\r associations and corporate seminars. Using these experiences, he has\r recently authored Black Belt Parenting, a motivational how-to book for\r parents.
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