A while back there was a lot of buzz around the term \"Helicopter Parents\". In case you\'re not familiar with the term what it basically means is crowding and hovering over your kids to much. I agree with that statement. I believe like with everything else in life there has to be a balance between protecting our children and sheltering them.
I have witnessed a couple of very negative things that have arose out of sheltering children too much. I had a neighbor once that sheltered her daughter so much that when she turned 18 she went really wild! What happened was her parents never allowed her to do the things that some of the other teens were doing. Things like going to the mall, going to a sleepover, things of that nature. I know her parents meant well, they were just trying to keep her out of trouble.
The problem is as much as we don\'t want our kids to get into any trouble. It simply is not fare to your child not to put any trust in their judgment. I think if you have brought them up with love and you have done your best to instill values in them there has to come a point in time where you need to trust them to make the right choices.
Now I have always hammered into my kids heads that choices have consequences, good choices have good consequences and bad choices carry with them bad consequences. Now with that being said. Did my kids always make the right choices? Of course not but what kid does? Or any person for that matter? None of us are perfect, we\'ve all made mistakes it\'s a part of learning and growing. The point I am trying to make here is there comes a point in time where we need to back off just a bit and let our kids be kids. Now I am not saying let them go hog wild but find a balance. There\'s no \"one size fits all with children\" some kids can handle more freedom and responsibility than others. But the important thing here is to find a balance and not hover over them so much that they completely rebel.
Another common thing I see are parents who do everything little thing for their kids that they become irresponsible and unappreciative. They create a mindset that they should somehow be catered to. Unfortunately, it\'s a tough world and our kids need to learn self responsibility. Lets face it we\'ve all been a bit guilty of spoiling our children at times but again the key here is balance. We have to give our kids room to grow and develop. To me that\'s the sign of true love. Hovering over them too much is in the long term causing them more harm than good.
Let me leave you with an analogy to keep in mind. I like to try my hand at gardening from time to time. By the way, I am not to good at it! Anyway, I did learn one thing. If we start a plant in a small pot and it starts to grow, sooner or later we are going to have to transplant it to a bigger pot to give it some room to grow. If not it becomes root bound, stops growing and it sometimes doesn\'t even survive. I like to think of it this way when it comes to our kids. As they grow older if we don\'t back off and give them a little more space we are going to stunt there growth. Obviously not physically but emotionally and intellectually. I have seen boys that were 18 being treated as if they were 2! How are we going to teach our boys responsibility that way? This is the age we should be talking to them and preparing them to be a responsible young man not handing them everything on a silver platter. In my case my kids are 18 and 22. I don\'t mind helping them out as long as I see they are trying to help themselves. I tell them I\'ll help them out but don\'t expect me to just hand them everything without any effort on their part.
Raising well balanced and responsible kids is no easy job. The best thing we can do as parents is stay educated and give it our very best. There will be bumps along the way but it\'s the end result that counts.
For more articles and parenting tips like this visit raisingkidstogether
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